What started really slow ended without any surprises. We all know The X Factor is not about finding an artist who is incredibly talented and appreciated by its peers. It’s about creating a product that sells to a market willing to put up some cash.
So, I don’t think anybody was flabbergasted yesterday when Eden Roberts and L.O.V.E. turned out to be in the bottom two. Sadly neither female singer-songwriters nor female rap-duos have a good track-record of selling big (and Bic Runga or Salt and Pepper those two are not).
But mainly I think we all agree, that dragging the show along for half an hour before even announcing who’s on the chopping block is a bloody long time and the X Factor voting process is not exactly MMP so there’s no need for host Dominic Bowden to explain over and over again what will happen next.
And 30 minutes can be a long time to kill. We are treated to another judges’ entrance almost worthy of the WWE and immediately a concept for a new show springs to mind. How about a cross between a wresting and a singing competition. Each judge also has a dedicated wrestler who sort of looks like the judge and once the two chopping-blockers are named, it’s not the judges who tell us about their “incredibly hart decisions” but their fighters wrestle it out on a mat. But wait, aren’t wresting matches staged
I digress.
Back to the show where they cut to some shots from a press event last week before Bowden reminds us AGAIN, that two acts will be sent into the final show-down where only one will survive (not literally, it’s not that sort of fighting competition yet).
For now it’s time for Willy Moon, the Wellington boy who’s doing well overseas. He actually has gotten quite some attention internationally, having featured in GQ’s Most Stylish Men of the Week, one of Elle’s Bright Young Things and was profiled by Vogue. Nonetheless when he performs his single Yeah, Yeah he does look like some incarnation of Dr Who under an evil spell.
But the most awkward moment comes after his performance. Bowden hands over a huge picture frame symbolising that Moon’s single has gone gold in New Zealand (for which a shipping of a staggering 7500 copies is required). Both want to be funny and/or cool and it just ends in a moment with clashing bumbling.
Then it’s finally time for The Relevation. And after the usual mentor-proteges-cuddling-session, one by one (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER we are advised multiple times) is called out Daniel Bedingfield’s Eden Roberts and Mel Blatt’s rap duo L.O.V.E are left to be terminated.
But I think the questions we all ask ourselves right now are: Why are all the contestants wearing still the same clothes as they did in the show the night before Is it not really a live show and it was all filmed in one go Do they only have money to employ a stylist for one day Did those clothes go to the dry-cleaner or is the stage a big smelly mess
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And before I can really dive into those considerations, it’s time for one judge to be judged. Ruby Frost has been around as an artist for a fair couple of years, but she’s still far from big mainstream success. For many in the audience it will be the first time to see her perform, so the producers throw in a little Frost-medley before the judge-her-self enters the stage.
Pink hair, grey dress in in a green neon square with elf-like features she’s performing her latest single. And although she’s got a voice so much bigger than her tiny body suggests her performance seems to be more at home at a club than on big TV screen.
But, hey, those green lasers where awesome! And nobody can vote off the judges.
And now after almost more than 45 minutes, we’re finally at the point we actually want to see. Both bottom-acts get to perform one more time and while Bowden welcomes Roberts with “beautiful performance.” he tells L.O.V.E. “it must be hard to perform in these circumstances.”
Then it’s time for the Last Jugdement.
Bedingfield, who left his battling tartans at home today and went with some flowery matching shirt and tie combination, tells Roberts she’s a a true artist. He puts his I Do So Believe In You Face on and of course he’s also close to tears.
Blatt is fiercely routing for L.O.V.E. but tells Roberts that she loves her too, but that she wasn’t sure if this competition is the right place for her.
For Frost it is “incredible hard” to compare those to acts but in the end she votes for more entertainment and for L.O.V.E. (while totally respecting Roberts as an artist)
Tense faces all around.
Bowden reminds us again how this complicated voting system works and we’re off to Stan Walker whose decision will tip the scales.
He goes off explaining that if he hadn’t gone to Australia he would just love L.O.V.E. but over the ditch he was also exposed to singer-songwriters (ever heard of Bic, bro) and L.O.V.E had to do a lot of work on their vocals but he loves Eden too….
Before he completely gets lost in his contemplations Bowden presses for an answer and not without causing a bit confusion Walker eventually votes for the rapping girls.
And although it’s a bit sad to see Roberts go, in the end I think the judges made the right decision. I hope she will forever make music and write songs but a contest like this is not the platform to grow into the artist she will be one day (if she will make money with it in our dear small country is another matter.)
So finally. I am not convinced of the format. While the overseas versions of The X Factor invite star power to fill the otherwise a bit uneventful hour of the decisions shows, I am not sure it works here. Will we see in the next weeks and weeks of decision shows only New Zealand artists as Bowden has hinted at I am all for local artist but do we have the right acts for this show
Who would you want to see perform
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