More than 6000 hopefuls have tried out for the X Factor in a 27-town pre-audition marathon, and yesterday we saw the final five.
That’s a fact . . . and I am not quite sure where to go from there.
Well, this is the first season of our very own version of the talent show that has unearthed quite some talent in its international versions.
Our lot are all very likeable people who, I am sure, wouldn’t do too badly at a karaoke night. In Palmerston North. On a Tuesday.
But last night was Coke Choice night, which meant not only that the broadcaster would get a decent amount of cash, but also that the contestants had to sing a song from the year they were born, one that was picked by the public.
It wasn’t terrible, some acts managed to hold the key, some looked stunning and others brought their guitar.
First up was the lovely Jackie Thomas, who, born in 1989, was entrusted with Alannah Myles’ Black Velvet, saying she was out to make Elvis proud.
There she was, sitting on a high swing, with a tiny black dress. Her performance was flawless as always, although a bit static.
The judges were sort of happy.
Melanie Blatt didn’t think she should win, but thought the performance was spot on. Ruby Frost was impressed but was wondering how she could make herself more memorable.
Stan Walker hated the song and was waiting for something average, he was glad she took a risk (one can fall quite easily from those high swings) and loved it. Thomas’ mentor Daniel Bedingfield was just deeply moved.
Then it was Whenua Patuwai, who, we are reminded, is only 18 year old.
He was performing Michael Jackson’s You Are Not Alone on a set featuring his initials in huge letters, which made some viewers a bit uneasy.
heh, wasn’t just me thinking about w.p. = “white power” during that song #xfactornz
— Throng NZ (@nztv) July 7, 2013
Another thing that was a bit uneasy was his performance. He seemed to have bitten off more than he could chew with the arrangement, delivering some off-key moments.
Walker, who clearly really wanted to support his bro had a hard time to verbalise something that was, putting it in my words, “a bit shit”. He finally described it as a performance that “did do nothing for you”.
Blatt asked if he had tried to make up for his lack of charisma with the huge letters on stage and wondered who did the arrangement that she said sounded like an R&B track made up on somebody’s laptop.
Patuwai’s mentor Frost thought the other judges were “pretty harsh” because all she was trying to do was develop his brand which would be something R&B-y.
Next was Palmy sweetheart Benny Tipene.
He was a bit shaky to start but finished Tom Petty’s Free Falling on a high and earned the spot as my favourite performer of the night.
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But what was going on with his facial hair Now that I finally made peace with his eyebrows he seems to grow some sort of 70s moustache. Just one word of advice: Don’t.
Bedingfield said something really philosophical about imperfection and machines, but also that his voice was just inspiring.
Walker liked him because he was so teachable and listened when he was told something, Blatt was glad he hadn’t lost it because we needed him, and Frost just “couldn’t be happier.”
The “pride of Christchurch”, young Cassie Henderson, was next.
She might not have known Natalie Imbruglia’s 1997 hit Torn before, but somebody had clearly told her that it was a great advantage being such a young “whippersnapper” so the audience would still remember the song.
As always Henderson was cute, but this performance was not her best.
Is “naked” really such a dirty word that they had to change the lyrics from the original “lying naked on the floor”, to “lying crooked”
PC gone mad!
Apparently the sound mixing at the venue and on TV is quite often different and the judges were pleased.
Blatt seemed to love her backup-band even more than Henderson but still thought that it was the best pitch she ever had, Walker felt for the first time like he was sitting in her concert, Frost loved it too, of course, but still thought she shouldn’t yell that much and Bedingfield was just proud as punch.
Last up were Moorhouse, who re-untied during the week with the fifth SBW who might end up as their Pete Best.
The song chosen for them was I Swear by All 4 One. Cheese galore, here we come…
Their performance was nice and pretty-much in tune, but a bit lacklustre.
Judge Bedingfield wished they had done something to move the production into this decade, and recommends the use of autotune.
Ouch.
The boys looked confused and a bit hurt.
But Walker, who is the big star they want to be one day, made it all A-OK by saying he’s using autotune too, and he would buy their stuff.
His eclectic, imaginary record collection from the show must already be filling imaginary shelves by now.
That was it it for the night. Now it is – as we were told over and over again – anybody’s game.
Apart from the elimination of one of the acts, tonight’s show will also feature a message from the creator of the show, the mighty Simon Cowell himself. I wonder whether he has actually watched much of the competition or whether it will be a generic greeting.
And then there’s the live performance of our most colourful judge Daniel Bedingfield. Will he live up to his own standards
Exciting times.
