If this trailer is anything to go by, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will be an exciting creative leap for Michael Bay, portraying the titular ninja turtles as solemn and complex heroes trying to come to terms with the essence of violence.
The trailer suggests a film of incredible nuance and subtlety, updating the turtles from the mere cartoon characters they were to become avatars of humankind’s struggle against its very nature.
Just kidding. Everything is in a bluish hue, lens flares blot out the screen, and there are so many forced moments of action that Megan Fox doesn’t even get time to blurt out a line between all her shocked gasping.
It’s disappointing to see Fox back in a role as useless and token as her one in Transformers – after the whole Michael-Bay-is-Hitler thing and her preeeetty good turn in Jennifer’s Body one might’ve hoped to see her escape into some better parts.
Still, she’s obviously got plenty of experience at staring blankly at CGI monsters so maybe this won’t be a completely agonising watch Hard to say that with a straight face.
Not that the responsibility lies on Fox’s shoulders. No, the writers deserve some blame credit for their comedic wit, like having Donatello shout “Batter up!” while assisting one of his brothers with his bo staff. Because a staff is kind of like a baseball bat, and because that joke hasn’t worn thin after, what, 30 years
Anyway, here’s a video. The movie’s out August 8th in the US.
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