There is a new critically-acclaimed off-Broadway play, (the title too controversial for print) in
which a gay man finds himself falling for a woman, thus causing him and his partner to question his orientatios.
Can a gay man who is sexually attracted to women still be gay? And what about straight men who get turned on by other men? Are men “sexually fluid”?
Female sexual fluidity – the capacity to move from romantic relationships with men to those with women, and vice versa has been well established. However, the idea of male bisexuality brings about more criticism, from both the gay and straight alike.
According to psychotherapist Joe Kort straight men may become aroused while viewing gay porn and the same goes for gay men who view straight pornography.“Many straight men are just curious about gay sex and how it works… or are turned on by gay male porn but have no desire to actually have sex with a man,” he explains.
“In our data, fewer than 2% of straight men searched for both gay porn and straight porn,” says neuroscientist Dr. Ogi Ogas, who, as coauthor of the book “A Billion Wicked Thoughts,” analyzed a billion Internet searches and other sources of sexual data. “Yet straight men do search for images of penises – especially large penises – almost as often as they search for vaginas.”
So it’s possible that these men aren’t necessarily interested in sex with other men, but are simply comparing their own anatomy to that of other guys.
A man could also be looking for new fantasies: If he’s a heavy porn user, a straight man may peruse gay porn as his ability to become aroused by straight porn ebbs and his tolerance to sexual imagery increases. Some guys say they surf porn the way they surf TV channels, and what they stop on depends on their mood or the interest level of the content itself.
“Straight men may go to Craigslist and get turned on by the descriptions of sexual acts with other men, but aren’t actually turned on by the men themselves,” he explains. “This is what separates ‘mostly’ straight men from gay men.”
One thing is clear, though: Society much is a lot less accepting of male sexual fluidity.
Elisabeth Loyd, an affiliated faculty scholar at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction reports that many men themselves say they find their potential for sexual fluidity “very threatening.” And Kort tells says that he’s been criticized by some in the gay community for his view on male sexual fluidity because the concept of sexual fluidity implies that sexual orientation may be more a matter of choice than genetics.
Sadly, it seems that women are freer to explore sexual fluidity – either in fantasy or reality.
“Women have more permission to be sexually fluid, or even to just be physically loving and affectionate with female friends,” says Kort. “Men do not have these permissions without being labeled as forever ‘gay’.”
Living life, rather than focusing on labels, is a large part of what sexual fluidity is all about.
