As the show with the worst sausage sizzles on television continues, Nelson Mail reporters and bloggers Sarah Dunn and Adam Roberts continue their discussions about the land of Westeros.
Note: Join us again tomorrow for the Game of Thrones Small Council – where we and fellow Throners debate our favourite and least favourite characters, scenes and storylines.
Dear Adam,
This finale was different to what I expected, but somehow it worked. If you’ll excuse the violent imagery, George R.R. Martin metaphorically hacked a limb off his story and then cauterised the wound in the last episode – this one sees him bandaging up all the other plot holes that arose over the season so that his battered soldier of a story can survive until the next season.
We returned directly to the scene of the battle, hovering over Chez Frey as his men finished off the last of the Stark troops. An unconscious Arya was being carried off by the Hound, not unkindly, but in a moment of misfortune she caught sight of her brother.
It’s an ugly end for Robb Stark, who has had his direwolf’s head sewn onto his decapitated neck.
Soon after, Arya managed to give the Hound the slip and carry out her second murder on a man she hears boasting about the parade. This is new territory for her, a planned killing where she lured him in with the ‘‘Valar Morghulis’’ coin before stabbing him to death in a frenzy.
In happier news, I might have another favourite pair of characters to join our little assassin, the Hound, Jaime and Brienne if things continue going well with Tyrion and Sansa.
As it turns out, Lady Sansa’s mental encyclopedia of courtly identities goes together really well with the Imp’s talent for merciless scheming, and both are extra good at being underdogs together.
‘‘Killed a few puppies, have you’’ Tyrion asked, greeted at a meeting by a rabidly excited Joffrey. The king has definitely been getting more animalistic over the last few episodes, and he was fairly panting with bloodlust over the Red Wedding. Unfortunately for him, this ended when he crossed the line with Tywin before being drugged and sent to bed without any supper. Surprising nobody, Tywin then revealed to Tyrion that the Red Wedding was all his idea.
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From here, we zoomed up to the North to visit Hodor and friends in an abandoned watchtower. The scene with Hodor shouting into the well reminded me very much of Lord of the Rings character Peregrin Took in the mines of Moria. ‘‘Fool of a Took’’ indeed!
In a nice twist, Sam and Gilly barged into the tower on their way back to Castle Black. While Bran and his merry men continued in the opposite direction, the most harmless pair in Westeros not only made it to the castle but got all settled in, resolving any clerical issues over Gilly’s baby without too much hassle.
I’m always amazed when any plans made near the Wall resolve in less than two episodes, but it was great to see two less-than-badass characters complete a plot arc more or less unscathed.
Jon Snow was a little more shop-soiled. He managed to get shot full of arrows by Ygritte after she tracked him down to follow through on her earlier promises. I think she loses Wildling points for not sticking to the letter of her word and literally castrating him, but he did make it back to the castle alive.
There was also an emotional reunion between Cersei and Jaime Lannister somewhere around this point. Did that seem rushed to anybody else I wanted to see how Brienne of Tarth handled it, but apparently that scene was not to be.
From here, we headed to probably the most scathed out of anyone barring Robb Stark – Theon Greyjoy. He doesn’t seem all that much closer to giving up the fight, which is a pity for those of us who really hate watching these fricking torture scenes.
I apologise for letting the cat out of the bag a little early on this one, but yes, his tormentor was confirmed as Ramsay Snow this episode. Ramsay is still a nasty little bastard but cold-eyed vengeance is swiftly sailing his way in the form of Asha, Theon’s big sister.
Can I take a moment to compare this woman with Daenerys Stormborn Both are unapologetically hardcore female warlords, but where the pair differ is that Asha is all business. Daenerys may have dragon babies and a compelling back-story, but Asha has an enormous axe, a sword and proven competency in their use.
Finally, we’re back in Yunkai with the Mother of Dragons. The bloodless acquisition of this enormous crowd of slaves who call her ‘‘Mother’’ seems like a win, but any real mum could no doubt tell her that more children means more logistical problems.
That’s the story all wrapped up, but I really don’t know if I can hold out until the next season! I hear the crew starts filming in July.
– Sarah
Dear Sarah,
So, there it is. Game over, as it were. Not bad.
There was a lot of tidying up in this week’s episode which which I don’t think plays to the show’s strengths. This show is at its best when it’s blowing up its characters’ lives and making us guess as to what happens next, not explaining why people died or who people are (although god knows that’s handy for idiots like me).
So, they went for it with the wolf head huh I’d heard people saying that while it was in the book, surely the producers wouldn’t put it on the screen. But of course they would, did you even see last week’s episode!
Anyway, I’m calling it now, Robb the Wolf Man will be this year’s Halloween costume to beat.
Aside from that, I can’t recall a Small Council scene which wasn’t a highlight of an episode, and this one was no exception.
Joffrey was at his most disgusting, giddy at the prospect of serving Sansa her brother’s head on a plate at the wedding (wait until he hears about Robb the Wolf Man).
Our man Tywin once again proved an epic foil for the young brat – you got the very real sense that if Joffers said just one more word, it would be more than nightshade prescribed to help him sleep.
Tyrion and Tywin then went on to have another one of their chats, which proved even more heartbreaking than any of their previous yarns.
Trust Tywin to have the worst possible answer to an accusation of selfishness. ‘‘I’m not selfish – one time I didn’t drown you when I wanted to.’’ I’m not sure you understand where Tyrion’s coming from, dude.
This show continues to force me to come up with creative ways of describing how awful Theon’s life has become. I’m glad I’ll have a year to stockpile some more.
Anyway: he’s still tied to that X, he’s still being tormented by the psycho, he’s still missing a rather key appendage. But hey, it can’t get any worse, right Wrong, he’s now not even allowed to say his own name.
I can’t have been the only guy watching the show who spent that whole scene wincing – I’m just glad I wasn’t having sausages for dinner.
As, I’m sure, was Theon’s dad (first we’ve seen of him all season BTW).
I feel like the showrunners/George RR Martin owe a debt to Lonely Island – I can’t believe the Boltons sent an actual D*** in a Box to Lord Greyjoy. I also can’t believe how unmoved Greyjoy was with the whole thing. Dude has iron in his veins.
Anyway, I’m kinda excited about the new adventure for Theon’s sis (who he tried to put the moves on in happier times, if I remember correctly), it might actually give that storyline some meaning. Maybe it will follow Daenerys’ storyline and go from being the worst to arguably the best.
While I’m at it, I really hope Arya and the Hound are going to be the Jaime and Brienne of season 4. His wisecracks make him the grizzled, burned-out cop of the show.
I also enjoyed everything related to Ser Davos, from the wisecracking with the Skins kid (Gendry), to his reading a pile of horrible messages.
I think he’s probably in my top five characters these days. I loved how his reading abilities – and his knowledge of the news, I might add (plug) – saved his life, and maybe the kingdom.
I loved the shot of Stannis mulling over whether he should kill Gendry, with Ser Davos and the red witch positioned almost as the devil and angel on either shoulder.
