A video of an abused woman giving tutorials on covering up bruises and scars has been making its way around the internet. And, although the video was made by an makeup artist trying to bring attention to victims of domestic abuse, the segment remains chilling in its authenticity.
The bruises and scars aren’t real and the video was made as a public service message to bring awareness to the victims of domestic abuse sponsored by the organization REFUGE (http://refuge.org.uk/).
A shocking 65% of all victims of abuse go through a routine like this every morning, to hide the signs out of fear and shame.
If you think you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence, here are some tips given by experts in the field on offer help or assistance to your; friend, loved one, neighbor or anyone else you may think is in immediate danger:
1 – Remember to always be non-judgmental – there is still a stigma in society regarding domestic abuse. So approach your loved ones or acquaintances’ in a non-judgmental and non- threatening manner. Tell them you are concerned and if they need help, you will be there for them (and be sincere – if they need help, even it’s a shoulder to cry on, be there for them, because acknowledging the situation may be the first step in their making efforts to seek help and remove themselves from the abuser’s control)
2- Let them know that you believe them – this is very important, as the abuser may make the victime feel as though no-one will be there to
help them and won’t believe their “stories.”
3- Remind them that you are afraid for them and that they are in a potentially life-threatening situation.
4- This is a very important tool – REMIND THEM THEY ARE NOT ALONE. Victims of domestic abuse fell isolated and alone and when you add shame to this, the walls of solitude become thicker. Remind them that they are not alone, and they can seek help and talk to professionals who may have been in the same situation before.
5- This may be the hardest but it’s very important – Remind them it is not their fault. Abusers then to wear down the self esteem of their victims by constantly telling them their own behavior that they are being punished for. Reassuring someone that there is never any reason to strike another person, especially a mate or child, will assist the victim in coming to terms with the reality of the situation, once they realize they have done nothing wrong, it may be easier for them to leave their partner.
6- Let them know HELP IS AVAILABLE! – Be there for them and give them information on places they can turn for anonymous help.
It’s also very difficult to love someone who is in an abusive relation and our first instinct is to pull them away from the situation, while becoming angry when they won’t leave. Just remember to be patient and non-judgmental while reassuring them help will be available when are ready to leave.
